I just feel a connection with Ed that I've never really felt with anyone else." I just don't feel like I've ever been loved like that, in that way, from anybody else. "Even through all of the horrible stuff that we did to each other, there were so many more good things. "I can't make people understand this, because it's so personal, but I've never felt love like that," she says. She refers to him in the book as a "soulmate," but he isn't her only one. "I think we meet up with with souls that we're meant to work through things together," she says, explaining that she believes part of the pair's purpose was to bring into the world their only child, musician Wolfgang Van Halen (aka Wolfie), 30. 'It's been very rough': Valerie Bertinelli gets emotional addressing Eddie Van Halen's death "I watched my dad not love my mother as much when she gained weight. I had an elementary school teacher point at my belly and say 'You'd better watch that.' Before that, I wasn't even aware of my body. I'm doing my best to get that and scrape it all out of me. But it takes time."Ģ0 winter books we can't wait to read by Valerie Bertinelli, Brian Cox, Bob Odenkirk and more "I learned at a very, very young age that gaining weight made me unlovable," she says. At 13, she started weighing herself twice daily "without ever being happy or satisfied with the number I see." Dieting began at 15, her age when her show "One Day at a Time" premiered.īertinelli, 61, tells USA TODAY that shedding her old ways of thinking is a process, as a connection between weight and worth was formed early on. Throughout the collection of essays giving insight into her self-doubt, relationship with rocker Eddie Van Halen and the troubles plaguing her second marriage, the actress and Food Network star also documents her preoccupation with her size. Her journey to self-acceptance inspired her new book " Enough Already: Learning to Love the Way I Am Today" (available now). Valerie Bertinelli is learning to ignore her inner critic. Watch Video: David Lee Roth, John Mayer, more grieve Eddie Van Halen's passing
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